Couple’s benumbing rammy

They are two gates away from my place, but a couple in the neck of the woods have got one hell of a fight on their hands. Rammy is a part of relationships whether married or temporary. My mom told me as a teenager that when two individuals merge their lives, clashes are bound to happen. She was explaining why a female professor friend of hers was always having a shiner every now and then. The husband was a typical 19th century male chauvinist, if he were alive today, he’d end up in jail. As neighboring couples need to learn, the key is how their existing conflicts is handled going forward. Last year, they went for a vacation down at the Gulf of Mexico and all looked rosy. Grapevine in the hood has it that the female partner does not want to have children for various reasons which according to those close to her say is career-motivated. Others claim she lacks maternal feelings and has a concern for population growth's impact on the environment which she has carefully considered as a personal decision. Apparently, she is not shy about her decision, but is tired of the judgement she is constantly faced with from the bloke. She is kind of annoyed whenever her bloke picks up that topic of conversation and doesn’t understand why he should judge her for conforming or not conforming to the so called female role of being a mother. Even if the bloke doesn’t approve, she is said to plan to dedicate herself to her career and traveling different parts of the world.Her view is that becoming a mother would significantly impact and stifle her career and feels that their pets and her bloke are enough responsibilities.Whether people like it or not, she doesn’t plan to comply with society's idea of being a woman.As couple, they aim for egalitarian division of labor across the whole of their relationship but with time they may have found out that when it comes to individual tasks, one person has to step forward as the lead. 

When I met the bloke in the hood, he looked jaded unlike last year when his prance was equivalent to someone who got a mini airport in his front yard. They may have competing ideas of who’s best suited to take the lead but ongoing power struggle will ensue, and continue breeding grounds for conflict.Conflict in a relationship is deeply personal, and stressful for all involved, but there are some common things that they have been arguing over according to the bloke. They both know what they are, are aware of them but from my analysis they have failed to learn to handle them for their relationship to be harmonious and less fractious.Excessively showy female partner, feel like she don't have an equal voice in the relationship, and don't participate in equal decision making according to the bloke and for last few months she’s been trying to be more heard by being louder hence their souring relationship becoming one of the hottest gossips in the neck of the woods. On the other hand, the bloke feel railroaded into decisions which are meant to be worked out as a couple. Money has always been a reflection of their personal values around lifestyle they live. Seems like both now differ on how to spend money, which is most inherited from the bloke’s family.As I told the bloke, without some frank discussion and negotiation, it will lead to catastrophic fights and ones that only repeat themselves throughout the years.In his own words, money is the biggest cause of disputes, proving that it won't buy them happiness even if they’re surrounded by palm trees, white sand, luxury swimming pool, flashy cars among other stuff that makes them most easily identifiable couple in the neck of the woods.The secret to a happy relationship is for them to accept that they don't have to spend every second of their life together. That way, they’ll handle the power dynamic through calm negotiation and expression of concern and feelings avoiding eruption of large arguments and fights like we’ve been witnessing in the hood.The key for both partners is to be aware of one another's personalities especially if one is more take charge and one is more laid back, and agree together to absolutely make all important decisions together, aswell as practice that value on the little daily things too.