Unpacking female friend with tantrums

Ever wondered why tantrums are common among young females? Well, in the recent years I’ve learned plenty on why uncontrolled outburst of anger and frustration is common among them. Having a female friend can be great, but there are a whole bunch of things that can get in the way of feeling content and happy about it especially tantrums. Her tantrums over the years always remind me what my mom used to tell me as a tween that tantrums are for posh, pampered and spoilt brats who barely know what the real world is all about. In fact she warned me that life is very unforgiving for cry babies. For the case of this young female who is in her late 20s, internal pressures from work, things like differences in her relationship with boyfriend, lack of compromise is her perfection and generally unreasonable or unfulfilled expectations makes her throw paroxysm like feuding kindergarteners.In most cases, external pressures that come from people or factors outside of her relationship with the boyfriend, such as study where she currently works full day from Monday to Friday and dedicates her Saturday and part of Sunday to classes, work at the insurance firm where she trades her accounting skills, family and friends have turned her into a blowout professional.I often wondered why a bloke friend who lives in Alice Springs used to describe young females as ‘boat’ but thanks to this young female I have come to appreciate that description. He told me his thinking was informed by previous relationship he had which meant because of his girlfriend tantrums, it could either float or sink anytime. In the case of this female friend, that is entirely true, she has been telling your blogger why men makes her chunder nowadays yet in the past were her best company. There’s no doubt she thinks about the effects of pressure in her relationship whether its afloat or has sunk, your blogger can’t tell, what I can confidently say is that she feel unsafe.

In fact being in messy relationships is none of my business but her tempers are my business because she ends up incorporating them on me as friend. I have known her for years and can unfortunately say she hasn’t grown out of temper tantrums the way she's done with her career. Tantrums are common for those who are frustrated when they can’t get what they want but that not the case with her. She is classic example of young girl who despite maturing, can’t articulate her needs and exercise self-control. Don’t get me wrong, all of us still boil over for one reason or the other. Managing a meltdown isn’t easy but it doesn’t have to be a daily thing like this female friend has been doing. When she is having a tantrum, I don’t throw a tantrum myself as that will be adding fuel to the fire. In the past, she has told your blogger that one reason she throws tantrums to the boyfriend is that she want to be heard but I have always asked why can’t her sheer frustration be between her and the boyfriend? In my view, her biggest deficit is emotional intelligence which would have helped her build ability to understand and manage her emotions. Being one of her friends, I feel she need a safe place to vent her feelings and irrational thoughts. Her tantrums are merely a projection of her own insecurity, frustrations and hurts from relationships. Perhaps its her best way of managing to release the emotional tension that makes her dumb especially after being dumped, feel crabby, worthless, naive among others.The tantrum-throwing young female with time will realize that dealing with tantrums can be very draining and stressful. I believe as she enters her 30s soon, she might feel the need to step in to end her tantrum culture straight away.